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140 Characters I Made Up – Duke The Dog
140 Characters I Made Up – Duke The Dog

Armed with what I assume is very impressive voice-to-text technology, Duke the Dog of Bush’s Baked Beans fame has finally joined Twitter — well kinda. OK no he hasn’t but you get the gist of these by now, right?   But Duke isn’t in it for the fame but rather something he’s been trying to do […]

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140 Characters I Made Up – Hamburglar
140 Characters I Made Up – Hamburglar

One could argue that it’s pointless for the Hamburglar to have his own personal Twitter account, given the fact his sweaty sausage-like fingers couldn’t grip even the biggest Android phone to send a tweet. But I think having an account would be worth it if I could read about the prince of the failed five-finger fast-food discount […]

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140 Characters I Made Up – Wile E. Coyote
140 Characters I Made Up – Wile E. Coyote

Wile E. Coyote with a Twitter page sounds unbelievable, not just because he’s a fictional animated coyote but mostly because he should be dead 100x over thanks to ACME. He’s a part of the canis genus yet seems to have more lives than a domesticated cat.   Either there’s a monopoly on manufacturing in the painted desert, or […]

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140 Characters I Made Up – Trix Rabbit
140 Characters I Made Up – Trix Rabbit

I want to be surprised that the Trix Rabbit doesn’t have his own Twitter but honestly I’m not.   With as much rejection he’s faced for nearly 60 years, why put himself through digital embarrassment of tweeters reminding him that his product isn’t meant for him? And as his (fake) Twitter feed suggests, he’s ready to reclaim what’s been […]

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140 Characters I Made Up – Kool-Aid Man
140 Characters I Made Up – Kool-Aid Man

I’m kind of shocked the Kool-Aid Man didn’t already have an official Twitter page. If you consider his continued popularity—despite the role he plays in sending most Americans on a fast-track to a toothless and insulin-filled future—this should have happened years ago.   With as many different flavors there are for Kool-Aid, his dealings with […]

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140 Characters I Made Up – Clippy
140 Characters I Made Up – Clippy

Hey so I’m starting to run out of characters with legitimate Twitter pages to make fun of. So in between blogging about real ones I figured it can’t hurt to make up pages for characters that don’t have their own. I think I can come up with some pretty accurate representations of how these characters […]

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Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Remember watching commercials for Cinnamon Toast Crunch and being greeted by a roly poly baker man named Wendell? Well trash that memory. He’s now been replaced by a bunch of parasitic versions of Wendell’s creation: Two deranged looking Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares. And they have their own Twitter:     I think the focus on […]

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Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Smokey the Bear
Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Smokey the Bear

Smokey the Bear has taken his decades old message of fire prevention to Twitter and continues to somehow make small children feel safe around a jeans-wearing anthropomorphic bear armed with a rusty shovel.   When it comes to anything outdoorsy and fire safety-related, you can count on seeing Smokey’s likeness with a message to remind us that […]

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Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Barbie
Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Barbie

A mainstay in children’s toy chests for decades, Barbie—with her classic fixed smile and unrealistic body proportions—wants to be a mainstay on Twitter, too:   Although many of the tweets I saw look like they tell a narrative of bad decision making—starting with her packing decisions:     And while some children may be a bit […]

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Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Berenstain Bears
Tweets from 140 Characters or Less – Berenstain Bears

Yes your childhood favorites The Berenstain Bears have their own Twitter feed. Now you can digitally keep up with your storybook friends: Papa Bear, Brother Bear, Sister Bear and of course, the always fashionable, Mama Bear:   Don’t be fooled though. I’m willing to bet at some point every member of this family gives into their primal instincts:   […]