The BLOG

T.W.I.T. – Lifehacks

T.W.I.T. – Lifehacks

This has nothing to do with Lifehacks. These tweets may make your life better with laughter, or pride that you aren’t a comedian.

Also, lots of rap music tweets.

oh cool you have a paragraph tattooed on your inner arm. PLEASE GIVE ME UNSOLICITED ADVICE

-Everything I learned in life, I learned from Barbed Wire Arm Girl too.

 

don’t married people know that Craigslist is a much quicker way to get a roommate you will end up hating?

-I think if you are on Craigslist, you already hate your life.

Did you know “Singing in the Rain” was originally titled “Homeless Choir”?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME I HAVEN’T WORN MY INVISALIGN FOR 24 HOURS YOLO

-Happy Birthday, Sara, from all of us, as well as Orthodontists everywhere!”

Just rated Goodburger 5 out of 5 stars on Netflix before remembering I do not have Netflix just the password for my ex-boyfriends account.

-I don’t know how it didn’t work out.

If Aladdin was made today they’d pat that poor Arabian guy down before they let him let him anywhere near that flying carpet.

 

I need the number for child services. There’s a little girl with dreadlocks at this hipster bar.

-Also, you’re at a hipster bar…..do you need help?

“Let’s get drunk on the mini bar” is the most financially irresponsible line ever uttered in rap music history

-“Fancy,” the official song of Cashpoint.

TURN DOWN FOR WHOM?

-Also, hat tip to @dankcharnley: It is “Well, ‘Push it real well,’ Salt ‘N Pepa.”

I vacuumed without a bag today. That’s the domestic version of raw dogging it.

-That sucks. Watch out for S.T.D’s. Sexually Transmitted Dust.

And, my best this week:

You can do side bends and sit-ups but please don’t lose those boobs.” -Baby Got Rack

See y’all next week.

Jon Yeager

Comments