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T.W.I.T. – Germany World Cup Champions

T.W.I.T. – Germany World Cup Champions

The phenomenon called the World Cup, or an afternoon nap, concluded with Germany defeating Argentina in the 2014 FIFA cash-grab final. The German win led to some great tweets from our alums.

Also, LBJ (Lyndon Banes Johnson?)

What’s that? Oh, Lebron James.

Yeah, the Prodigal Son/King James/ Rim Smoter returned to The Cleveland Cavaliers after leaving the team to “take his talents to South Beach,” which sounds like something a stripper would say.

Apparently, he did this voluntarily, which is the most shocking part.

 

Futbol fun:

 

I feel like people are still not ready for the headline “GERMANY WINS”

 

 

All those former Miami Heat fans are now claiming they’re part German and have been rooting for Germany all their life.

-The Holocaust was the first bad version of The Decision.

Argentina: “Don’t cry for me.”

Germany: “Don’t worry, we’re incapable of feeling emotions.”

-I’ve heard this joke NEIN times.

“At least we scored a goal on them.” -Brazil

That guy who scored is going to be able to shit on any woman in Germany.

-Sounds…….Messi.

Maybe they are the superior race.

ARG vs GER! Pope Francis vs Benedict!

Their friendly wager: Argentine Empanadas vs Hitler Youth Knife and a 9 year-old.

-@pontifex can you confirm? Or are we…just kidding around?

Then, Lebron James elected to return to the Cleveland Cavaliers:

Lebron took less time to decide than this dude in the beer aisle.

LeBron’s 2 yr deal w/1 yr option: “I’m coming home… To get my stuff.”

-Lebron will blossom, like a Mayflower.

Calm down Cleveland fans, you still live in Cleveland.

-Cleveland Rocks! No, literally, the city is full of shoddy worksmanship.

OTHER STUFF:

Don’t cry because it is over, CRY because it happened

-DAD?

To give you an idea of how often I “turn up”, my autocorrect just changed ‘party’ to ‘pastry’

-I can’t imagine a crueller fate.

“I hate tablets…” – Everyone now. Or anyone who didn’t want to follow the Ten Commandments back in the day.

-Holy Moses, that’s good, but not very…PC.


I’ve never done the color run, but I have borrowed a friends color run shirt and spilled ketchup, mustard and chocolate syrup on it

–It was the inaugural color run at Golden Corral. I lost because I took too much time at the Chocolate Wonderfall.

 

R.I.P. mom (she’s not dead, she’s Rehabilitating in Providence. i’m bad with acronyms)

-I’d prefer death. Give me liberty or give me Rhode Island.

Did you know that the movie “Interview with a Vampire” was originally titled “Applying at Hot Topic”?

And my best:

What happens with the unused sweet tea and brownies from “To Catch A Predator?” Msg me in the chat room if you know.

 SEE Y’ALL NEXT WEEK!
RETWEET THIS!
Jon Yeager, Esq.

 

 

 

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