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T.W.I.T. – WORLD CUP

T.W.I.T. – WORLD CUP

Soccer’s World Cup has our attention, for nothing else besides washboard abs, flopping, and an excuse for day drinking.

Here are some soccer tweets (wouldn’t that be a referee’s whistle? LOL OMFG LMAO) and other funny stuff.

 

Soccer penalizes you for not paying attention for one second. It’s like a girlfriend.

-My girlfriend prefers playing a man down.

Soccer is the brunch of sports

-Figure Skating is the dinner theater.

haha soccer is dumb. i like exciting sports like american football where play stops every 15 seconds & a third of a 3 hour game is commercials

I am upset about soccer. What have I become?

-European.

WHY WOULDN’T I BE AFRAID OF HORSES, THEY HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLE LEVEL OF MUSCLE DEFINITION AND LONG FACES AND ALSO WEIRD HUMAN GIRL HAIR.

 

your dream to be the greatest trance music dj at 47 years old is tearing this family apart

-Get out of my house (music)!

Apparently “I’m so sorry” is not the right response when someone tells you they are “3 years sober”.

-But Whitney Houston IS “3 years sober.”

Who came up with the idea of darts in a bar? A personal injury lawyer/genius?

-Bingo! Or should I say, “bullseye?”*

*Puts head in oven

♪ Science-man, Science-man, does whatever he can get funding to do♪

-Taking nothing for grant-ed.

I’ve got too many weddings this summer. I need to start destroying more relationships.

-I’m only good with destroying my own.

And my best:

Two girls, one World Cup

Seriously, if you like this, retweet it or put a ring on it.

Jon Yeager

 

 

 

 

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