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T.W.I.T. – Attack Cat

T.W.I.T. – Attack Cat

This week,  the Attack Cat, or “Hero Cat” video ruled the internets. Somehow, our crack team of  comedians managed to talk about anything else. Except me- see the end of this week’s TWIT for some Attack Cat funnies. Here’s the link if you live in a different reality and missed it:

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/tara-the-hero-cat-video-goes-viral/

 

Here are the Tweets of the Week from the motley crue we call LYGODC. Or the Dokken or Styx or Ratt we call LYGODC.

 

i fell in love the moment i found out she didn’t know any Marilyn Monroe quotes

-I couldn’t handle this tweet as it’s worst. Or it’s best. I’m just interested in a tweet not on a bipolar range. Call me old fashioned.

New Orleans Saints sign paralyzed player. You should have signed with the Redskins dude. You could have started for us.

Even if black holes don’t exist – donut holes do – so we win either way

-The only way I’d join an Astronomy club is if they had donuts. Which, strangely, would give the Astronomy club its own gravitational pull. Also, I hope you are reading this in the Stephen Hawking voice.

and the Curse of the Student Loans

Happiness be like……Yo ex post a selfie and only caught one like!!!!

-Haha. Wait, what’s an ex? Or a girlfriend? Or a selfie? #homeschooled

I would be more down for a secret marriage than a Faceboo official relationship.

-I’d pick an arranged marriage over a LinkedIn convo as well.

“Talk QWERTY to me…” – Nerd sext

-Other runners up in Nerd Sexting:

“You. Me. Dr. Who. My parents’ basement.”

“I wanna pop your cherry…..flavored Gushers.”

“Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive.”

“Yes, Dungeonmaster.”

Currently listening to these Patient First employees argue over approaches to pasta salad from the other side of the curtain of mystery.

Have CIA interrogators tried Forever21 music?

-“This guy won’t talk!”

“RELEASE THE KE$HA!”

What’s my biggest flaw? Well, I feel like I’m looking at my own severed head on a spike pretty much all the time. Did I get the job?

-You got an interview? Brag.

 

And now, several tweets I wrote because of the madness that was Attack Cat:

IT’S A DOG EAT KID KINDA WORLD OUT THERE, SAYS ATTACK CAT.

ATTACK CAT KNOWS WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN BENGHAZI

Does your Attack Cat have a structured settlement and you need cash now?

Attack Cat was an inside job.

 ·  May 15

What attack cat are you? Find out with this quiz.

AFTER ALL THAT, I’M CATATONIC.

See y’all next week. In the meantime, share the laughter by sharing, retweeting, emailing, texting, or swiping right on this to friends!

Jon Yeager

 

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