T.W.I.T. – Taco Bell Breakfast

T.W.I.T. – Taco Bell Breakfast

Taco Bell is serving breakfast now. SOUND THE DYSENTERY HORNS!


Benjy H@BenjyHimmel

♥ Be the kind of person you pretend to be on social media ♥

-The girl I am crushing on says “it’s still a Friendster account.”


Jason Weems@jweemscomedy

I respect ANYONE who is doing something “different”. Minus serial killers of course. I don’t respect what you’re doing at all. Stop doing it

-This looks like a copycat post.


not NOT Jason Saenz@jasonsaenz

Pizza Hut has subs. Subway has pizza.

-Taco Bell has breakfast. I have diarrhea.


Drew Landry@DrewTheComedian

I like to refer to frat boys as ‘brociopaths’


Ryan Schutt@ryschutt

The Weather Channel is completely unnecessary if you have any Facebook friends over 45.


Katherine Timpf@kctimpf

No omg of COURSE you don’t have to respond to my texts right away but I will take it to mean that you hate me and I’m dead to you.

– I’m the same way, but with snail mail. My life is not going well, especially on Sundays.


Erik Bergstrom@Erik_Bergstrom

If you’ve ever seen a fish poop you know why mermaids can’t be hot.

-A Fish Called Wandaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!


Peter Bergen@peteybergen

This spring Is harder to find than a proud parent of a porn star. (Or comic)

-Luckily, Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, is our double control group.


David Tveite@killtveite

“Gender is just a social construct, man!” He shouted as he shat in the ladies’ room sink.

-He sounds like a brociopath. Or just had Taco Bell Breakfast. (Two callbacks there. *Drops mic, moonwalks off stage.)


Jesse Berney@jesseberney

Congress I know you fight a lot but I think you can come together to outlaw ads for Sonics when there are no Sonics around

-Checkers or Sonic or Carl’s Jr or Hardee’s or Roy Rogers or Church’s Chicken…………


Danny Charnley@DanKCharnley

Behind every great man there’s a great woman, making fun of his dad jeans and weird buttocks.

-Mrs. Romney’s so cruel.


And my best:

jon yeager@toosoon_huh

A movie about an outbreak from Taco Bell Breakfast called “28 Minutes Later.”


Tune in next week. Sharing is caring, unless it is an STD.

Jon Yeager