Revenge. It comes in many forms in today’s day and age. For example if your college roommate is disrespecting you and your stuff, you can pee on him while he’s sleeping. If your girlfriend cheats on you, you can put nair in her shampoo. If your parents wouldn’t let you get the Eminem CD when you were 11 because the lyrics are too explicit, you can frame them for the murder of a local political figure. If your friend owes you a few hundred dollars, you can wine and dine the female members of his family, and maybe that effeminate male cousin, and then bang al of them. If your teacher gives you a B- instead of a B+ like you think you deserve you can wire her car up so that when she turns it on it blows up. If a film studio says that you’re going to be fired, after you made them millions with a trilogy of a classic superhero cartoon, you can pitch an insane idea destroying the franchise from within.
But times are changing and now Revenge comes in all new form in Revenge Pornography. These are sites that jealous exes are posting nudes of their exes for hundreds and thousands of people to view. These scumbags have nothing better but to post these photos and send a message to their exes saying “Hey, remember when you said you couldn’t be with me anymore because I was untrustworthy and lacked ambition…well guess who learned how to use WordPress, babe!” Then he attaches the www.kellystitties.wordpress.com (not an actual website, pervs) web link, followed by “PS I miss you.”
Of course there is legal action being taken but since the photos were selfies and were sent with consent the courts can’t consider them to be harassment or stalking. So the only thing left to do is slam these d-bags with a copyright infringement laws. But this means that the selfies have to now be considered a work of art. This is all in the effort of getting this away from the name of pornography. If we continue to call this pornography there will be a riot…a nude riot…a messy, school girl fantasy of a riot. And this is not only a concern for the safety of the boners that will arise on Capitol Hill but also for the FCC because they don’t have that many blurs and black bars to censor that level of nudity!
Catch this week’s Fork Full of Noodles-34-Revenge of the Pornographers!