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T.W.I.T. – True Detective

T.W.I.T. – True Detective

As HBO’s “True Detective” came to a conclusion (please god, just for one season, that is), we find ourselves in need of a new fix. May I suggest this week’s best tweets from LYGODC’s comedic alumnae?

 

Pete Bladel@PeteBladel

McConaughey vs Cranston at Wrestlemania

-Cranston: “You’re face is gonna be breaking bad! Rust is what happens when oxidation occurs, and Cohle burns!”

-McConaughey: “Oh, yeah? A championship belt is a flat circle. Alright alright alright!”

 

Randolph Terrance@realtalkforyou

We ain’t supposed to get em all, that ain’t what kinda world it is-True Detective

-This quote can also be attributed to audience response to my jokes. 🙁

 

Jesse Berney@jesseberney 

“Which detective will be named True Detective? Tune in to the season finale to find out!” -Bravo’s True Detective

 

Michael Larrick@MichaelLarrick

Anyone want to join my fantasy girlfriend league? You just look at random girls’ pics on Facebook and weep. It gets weird.

 

Courtney@bigCcomedy

Filled out my 1st police report as a witness to a crime last night. Spent all day avoiding stitches like a Final Destination movie

 

Aparna Nancherla@aparnapkin

Run down the grocery aisle throwing things into your cart chanting “a woman’s right to choose!”

-Keep your rosaries away from my groceries!!!!

 

Jono Zalay@JonoZalay

We celebrate International Women’s Day and now our clocks are an hour faster. Coincidence?

 

Herbie Gill@herbiegill 

This bar just switched off the basketball game for college wrestling?! What for? Everyone who watches college wrestling is already there.

-Very good submission, Herbie.

 

Nate Johnson@NateGotBetter

So, in other words, Russia is trying to yank off Ukraine’s peninsula?

– They ain’t Putin up a fight. Crimea Stockholm Syndrome River.

 

Danny Charnley@DanKCharnley

when are you going to get down from your high horse? seriously for your safety- c’mon that horse had like 2 marijuana cigars

 

And my best:

 

jon yeager@toosoon_huh

“Sports” that I’m into:

Football

Golf

Baseball

Basketball

Huey Lewis and the News album(1984)

 

We will try harder next week to get that elusive spit-take reaction.

Thanks,

Jon Yeager

 

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