As HBO’s “True Detective” came to a conclusion (please god, just for one season, that is), we find ourselves in need of a new fix. May I suggest this week’s best tweets from LYGODC’s comedic alumnae?
McConaughey vs Cranston at Wrestlemania
-Cranston: “You’re face is gonna be breaking bad! Rust is what happens when oxidation occurs, and Cohle burns!”
-McConaughey: “Oh, yeah? A championship belt is a flat circle. Alright alright alright!”
We ain’t supposed to get em all, that ain’t what kinda world it is-True Detective
-This quote can also be attributed to audience response to my jokes. 🙁
“Which detective will be named True Detective? Tune in to the season finale to find out!” -Bravo’s True Detective
Anyone want to join my fantasy girlfriend league? You just look at random girls’ pics on Facebook and weep. It gets weird.
Filled out my 1st police report as a witness to a crime last night. Spent all day avoiding stitches like a Final Destination movie
Run down the grocery aisle throwing things into your cart chanting “a woman’s right to choose!”
-Keep your rosaries away from my groceries!!!!
We celebrate International Women’s Day and now our clocks are an hour faster. Coincidence?
This bar just switched off the basketball game for college wrestling?! What for? Everyone who watches college wrestling is already there.
-Very good submission, Herbie.
So, in other words, Russia is trying to yank off Ukraine’s peninsula?
– They ain’t Putin up a fight. Crimea Stockholm Syndrome River.
when are you going to get down from your high horse? seriously for your safety- c’mon that horse had like 2 marijuana cigars
And my best:
“Sports” that I’m into:
Huey Lewis and the News album(1984)
We will try harder next week to get that elusive spit-take reaction.