This week, we celebrated (or lamented) Valentine’s Day. Plus, we had a super awesome* snowstorm to make things even more romantic!**
** not romantic
And, LYGO alum Aparna Nancherla was on @Midnight!!!
Here are your tweets of the week!
roses are grey,
violets are grey,
i am colorblind.
happy valentine’s day.
Sorry, singles; no one in a relationship can hear any of your ironic Valentine’s Day-bashing from the summit of Mt. Regular Intercourse.
#ValentinesDay is really just an excuse for adults to play with construction paper
-I learned that I wasn’t really crafty or romantic.
“I’m single & ready to mingle!!!!”-tear
-A lot of crying from someone who just crushed it on @Midnight, m’ dear.
“I’m scared gay guys are going to treat me like I treat women.” -homophobic men
-Now an NFL horror movie: The Season Of (Michael) Sam
NOW A DOUBLE DIP FROM JAMEL JOHNSON:
-Jamel, will you be my hashtagteam partner?
Everybody knows I’m a snowpacalypse denier.
-Thy winter come, thy wintry Armageddon, on earth as it takes me 7 (hours to get dug out)
“is anyone here a doctor?” – plane
“is anyone here a nurse?” – train
“is anyone here able to get WiFi and look up WebMD?” – Megabus
Had someone recommend a sun lamp for my depression, but I can’t think of anything I do indoors that would be less sad in broad daylight.
-Light up your life, they said. Fetch me the matches and kerosene.
Having a cross eyed pharmacist in a crowded Giant is hard. Twice I thought my prescription was ready bc I thought she was pointing at me
-I’m keeping an eye on you. And you. But still both of you at the same time.
lookin for a girl with a big sigh gap. big ol’ gap between her sighs. don’t want a girl who sighs too much.
And my best:
LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. IF YOU HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY, IT’S NOT AS MUCH FUN.
See y’all next week!