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T.W.I.T. – The Olympics

T.W.I.T. – The Olympics

As we cheer for the Winter Olympics at Sochi, there are always funny things the whole world can agree on.

 

Mariya Alexander@MariyaAlexander

Surviving a cross-country move and a first week at a demanding job in the span of a PMS week is my Olympics opening ceremony in Sochi

-Gross, Mariya, no one wants to hear about your job! Ewwwww.

 

Michael J. Foody@MichaelJFoody

Sochi olympics are totally HOMOPHOBIC unlike the US olympics held at diversity Mecca SLC Utah.

Mormon or MORE MEN, amirite?

 

Jesse Berney@jesseberney

Sexiest Olympic events, ranked:

3. Ski Jump (Pants Optional)

2. Ice Dance Makeout Party

1. That Pottery Wheel Thing They Did In Ghost

and:

Most depressing Olympic events, ranked:

3. Women’s Fracking

2. 1500-Meter Bread Line Wait

1. Skeleton But With Actual Skeletons

Valerie Paschall@vivalaphoenix

The men’s biathlon, brought to you by Scandanavian Darwinism.

 

Elahe Izadi@ElaheIzadi

area woman critiques triple-axel performed by figure skater while eating a brownie

 

And we talked about non-Olympics too….

 

Dylan Meyer@Your_Boy_Dylan

Hipsters start slow claps just to stop clapping once other people have joined.

-Clapping is so ironic, broh.

 

Michael Larrick@MichaelLarrick

Once I get to 1,000 followers, my parents will be so over me dropping out of law school.

-Cult leader or Twitter user? OR BOTH? DUNH DUNH DUNH

 

Danny Charnley@DanKCharnley

a dog is a man’s best friend.

a diamond is a girl’s best friend.

a dog made of diamonds is jamie lee curtis’s best friend

 

Aparna Nancherla@aparnapkin

Saying “I love you” for the first time is like guessing the wifi password for someone’s heart

-Sadly, for me, she was an open network for everyone.

 

Katherine Timpf@kctimpf

OMG Greyhound Bus sells gift certificates who the hell would do that to someone

– I’d totally bolt.

 

And my contribution:

jon yeager@toosoon_huh

Runs my girlfriend goes on: 5k’s, 10ks, fun

Runs I go on: beer, Taco Bell, midnight, on sentences

– And now, I’ve run out of time.

Sharing is caring, so retweet this, share it, email it, even print it out and mail it to someone if you’re into archaic stuff.

See y’all next week!

Jon Yeager

 

 

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