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T.W.I.T. – Richard Sherman

T.W.I.T. – Richard Sherman

The NFL Playoffs caught our mind, while Seattle Seahawks player Richard Sherman lost his.

 

Rob Maher@RobMaher

If Richard Sherman spoke any longer we’d all end up hating the Seahawks, Starbucks and Pearl Jam.

 

David Tveite@killtveite

Hey Peyton Manning, if you win this Super Bowl maybe you’ll finally be able to get an endorsement deal somewhere!

-Omaha Steaks on your Papa John’s pizza, available in your Buick Verano, with a free subscription to Direct TV.
HOMETRAPSTAR RUNNER@NonProfitComic

That fool Peyton Manning doesn’t even wear cleats. It’s just taped up Moon boots.

-Peyton Manning actually designed these himself. He also wants to launch his line of pleated khakis, polo shirts, and a line of forehead concealing designs. Calling it “P.M. Gear.”

 

Natalie Shure@nataliesurely

Today’s #NFLPlayoffs games determine who will be on in the background while I spend all of Super Bowl Sunday hovered over the snack table

 

Ryan Schutt@ryschutt

The Washington Post has tremendous segues.

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– Panda says he was high on eucalyptus leaves at the time. Insists this is not a black and white case.

 

Jono Zalay@JonoZalay

Excuse me, do you have a microphone and speakers? This coffee shop seems entirely too content.

 

Natalie M.@littlenightowl

SPOILER ALERT FOR END OF #LEGO MOVIE: Dad accidentally steps on Legos, screams “FUCK,” all Lego people die, kids grounded

 

Mariya Alexander@MariyaAlexander

Probably my biggest problem with getting abducted by aliens would be having to come back home

-You’d like to be a resident alien, I guess.

 

Hanley@hanleybadger

Let he who has never cleared his browser history cast the first stone.

– How come there isn’t an Internet Search Provider commercial set to U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For?”

 

Danny Charnley@DanKCharnley

I’M GONNA PARTY SO HARD TONIGHT!

*leisurely surfs the web*

*begins watercolor painting of a mer-wolf*

*enjoys a mug of warm milk*

-DOOD, HIT ME UP NEXT TIME YOU GO OUT!!

 

And my best:

jon yeager@toosoon_huh

Kellen Winslow Jr. masturbating in a Target parking lot was the only time that a NY Jet has scored in the Target red zone this year. #mrhappy

 

See y’all next week!

Jon Yeager

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