Facebuzzed Vol. 46 – Kris Wines

Facebuzzed Vol. 46 – Kris Wines

This week on Facebuzzed we visit Kris Wines, which appeals to every member of your family—especially your weary parents who need the fruit of the vine to relax:

kris wines

Oh Daddy! You’re so much more fun when you’re gainfully employed and not beating me with my own slap bracelets.

And every hour would be a happy hour if Kris Wines had its way. The winery also appealed to winos wanting to step up their “drunk-on-the-go” status from flasks to something more fashionable:

kris wines

Actually it’s my “I Ralphed in Lauren’s purse after playing ‘Slap the Bag.'”

Speaking of bodily expulsions, Kris Wines has got you covered when you’re celebrating the resurrection of your lord and savior with Paas and milk chocolate roadkill:

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….two things that will make you shit a rainbow.


But by far the more awkward posts were ones that explained the illustrations on the bottle:


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kris wines

If I told you I was pairing it with this would it still be sensual? The sensibility in me hopes you say no. The comic in me prays for a yes.


And if it’s the latter please wait about 25 minutes before initiating any conversations with me at close range.