This week’s tweets coincide with the 50 year anniversary of JFK’s demise. Conspiracy? THE WHOLE OBAMACARE WEBSITE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAGIC BULLET TOO. #OliverStone
yo how many times has a stick insect gotten real drunk and fucked a twig on accident that’s what i want to know
– A Laying Mantis?
I’m at an Indian restaurant in DC about to perform at a show called the Soul of Comedy. Where else would a white comic be tonight?
-In a Benetton ad?
i was in the park,sketching a battle between a dragon & a huge wolf,when a skateboard punk yolo teen purposely passed gas on me & i threw up
-The knockout game, but with gas?
Check out my track on the new compilation album “NOW That’s What I Call Barely-Restrained Desperation: Volume 37”
-Track 1. Miley Cyrus. Track 2. L.L.Bean rap songs Track 3. David Tveite Track 4. Rob Ford’s P.R. Team
If I’m with a girl and I fart, I blame the dog. If there’s no dog in the room, I blame Obama.
-Biden does the same thing.
The last place you wanna hear Arms of an Angel is a Chinese takeout joint
-When they tell you that the ASPCA commercial was filmed on site, at least you know the meat is fresh.
It’s easier to murder someone in Baltimore than it is to take an unpaid book into a Barnes and Nobles bathroom in Bethesda
-Put that book down. You look suspicious.
How did girls text before emojis? Hey I can’t wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP
Hard to believe that it was just 11 years ago today that Juwanna Mann was released on Comcast OnDemand.