The U.S. has faced 2 large budget crisis in the last few months. First of these was the Government Shutdown that caused hunderds of thousands of workers to get furlowed, which is not something a beaver does to you in a high stakes game of craps! But this caused national parks and museums to close. Because of this the natural order, the relationships of Bear stealing picnic baskets and Rangers playing trying to kill them is disturbed. But it did make the field trips to the Nipple Factory, the Felt Hut, and the Glass Bottle Home. It also made factories relevant for a short period of time again!
Because of this and the in fighting within the Republican party it’s time to think about what a new party to take the place of the Republican party in the 2 party system. Now you maybe asking, “What party is good enough to take the place the place of the good ol’ GOP” Let’s find out.
The Green Party: They stand for Social Justice, Diversity, Community Based Economics and much much more. Sure it’s not the color that our country stands for but it is the color of the Jolly Green Giant. Also known as America’s Giant! And if there’s anyone that stands for things that both America and the Green Party stands for, it’s the Jolly Green.
The Libertarian Party: Not to be confused be the Librarian Party, these guys stand for open immigration, being more liberal with drugs, keeping church and state separate and much much more! Sure because of some of their stances they may not remember the other things they stand but really they remember the important things they stand, like being liberal about keeping church and immigration separate…right?
The Constitution Party: This party is based on the grand ol’ Constitution. It stands for what the fore fathers of this country stood for! This is the most original claim that any political party has ever made. There has never been any political that has stood for the American Constitution. Right?! Nothing talks to the youth of America like the Constitution. The only thing that talks to youth of America as much as that is the young people the GOP puts into the office, like John Beohner, John McCain, Ted Cruze, and…I’m going to stop myself here.
No one knows what the future will hold, but let’s hope that the next party is something cool. Maybe it’ll be someone that high all the time, will just start letting immigrant in and be cool with the LGBT community and slay a dragon and give everyone light sabers and batarangs and…okay I’m going to stop myself here before things get out of hand.