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T.W.I.T. – Incognito

T.W.I.T. – Incognito

As the Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin bullying saga continues, LYGO’s finest continue their own bullying efforts. Here’s this week’s best tweets!

 

Herbie Gill@herbiegill 

If Richie Incognito can’t play football anymore, he can always fall back on a career as a cartoon detective.

-I see him as like the dog from Ben and Jerry, but with a neck tattoo. And, also, racist.

 

Erik Bergstrom@Erik_Bergstrom 

The first step to learning magic: Find a tuxedo rental shop that’s going out of business.

-Next stop: Find pet store with bunny sale.

-After that: Back to Parent’s Basement.

 

Michael Larrick@MichaelLarrick 

I’d like that band Imagine Dragons a lot better if they were actually imaginary.

-Now that’s bullying that I can rally behind.

 

Natalie Shure@nataliesurely

don’t cut in line, you’re bleeding all over the place

-People who cut in line are wrist takers.

 

Jamel@NonProfitComic 

CONFESSION: I didn’t know what Jewish people were until I started doing comedy.\

-If only the Nazis had seen a couple shows…..nah, the Holocaust woulda still happened.

 

Brandon Fisher@BrandOnBrandOut_

An albino man in front of me on the metro just threw up. I’m only upset it wasn’t completely white.

-It was tough to tell he was getting sick; he looked pale already.

 

David Carter@_DavidCarter_

I just realized my new haircut is merely a fashionable ‘Flock of Seagulls’ cut. This should be a great first date.

-And she raaaaan, she ran so far away…..

 

Dylan Meyer@Your_Boy_Dylan 

“Wow! Check out those huge jugs!” -Me, at my town’s annual Large Jug and Jar Festival, pointing out a woman with large breasts

-Her cups runneth over.

 

Richard Game@blahmed 

“Maybe I’m just like my mother / loves to eat Satisfries” – Burger Prince

-How long has this food been just standing/ Maybe my Whopper is too cold/

 

Tyler Richardson@HideAndGoTyler 

Hearing @MikeTyson quoted during my meeting today was a highlight. “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” #TGIF

-And everyone deserves respect and a fair shake from HR until they get a face tattoo.

 

And from me:

jon yeager@toosoon_huh 

Miami Dolphins let five year old cancer patient run final play, Richie Incognito crushes him with tackle, calls him “soft.” #NFL

 

See y’all next week!

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