As we found out that Ben Affleck is the new Batman, LYGO’s twitterers had some thoughts (of suicide). Here are the week’s best tweets, with my (@toosoon_huh) commentary.
if you’re still mad about the Affleck Batman casting one thing you could do to feel better is lose some weight
-I am getting a little bit Gigli.
Now we’ll never get Tyler Perry’s Batman. :~(
-TBS is scrambling for programming now.
I’ll never be as happy as the middle aged black lady who doesn’t realize how loudly she is singing gospel songs in my office right now
-If you were a duo, you could be “Her and Hymn.”
Ben Affleck playing a billionaire karate master who dresses up as a bat to fight crime is ridiculous.
Ben Affleck being cast as Batman is like Benghazi for nerds.
-The conspiracy theories would be great.
-And the Flecktones?
Who are the twerk team coaches? What are their credentials? What do their play books look like? Is anyone even vetting these people?
-I’m volunteering to investigate. The whole thing sounds really shaky.
It’s clear that superhero movies are now being cast by 17-year-old me. Next up: Lance Bass in “Aquaman at the Prom: A Cinderella Story”
-Richard Grieco’s agent wants a conference call.
Watching a gang of white kids making elaborate dunk videos in the pool is the new AND-1 video
-Triple Lindy 180 Tomahawk from Da Professah! (Small batch artisan) HOT SAUCE!
We’re fucked if terrorists start planting bombs in abandoned takeout containers because I seriously almost opened one
-Is it “See something suspicious?” or “See something delicious?”
And my best:
What if we dressed up the Aflac Duck in a Batman costume? THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES!
-I’ll show myself out.
See y’all next week!