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Facebuzzed Vol. 31 – Bud Light Platinum

Facebuzzed Vol. 31 – Bud Light Platinum

This week on Facebuzzed we visit Bud Light Platinum, and they kicked off the new year by letting you know their fan base has their priorities in check:

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Don’t worry about #3. You’re going to lose a few of them once they see this list. Though it will have less to do with the fact that your thirst for power and good looks outranks their loyalty and more to do with the fact you hashtag your handwritten resolutions. We’re going to need to disassociate if you do that.

Since 2012, Bud Light Platinum has done quite a flashy ad campaign to let you know this is a sophisticated product worthy of your hard earned cash:

 

But not THAT much cash. Jesus.

But not THAT much cash. Jesus.

If you don’t power wash the brick wall behind the bar after you piss on it—and someone really should cause I’m sure the bussers would appreciate it—then don’t tip more than a buck or two on a Bud Light. This person is either already drunk, hoping to bed the bartender or hasn’t been exposed to the hipster magical wonders of craft beer.

Speaking of really expensive yet not so smart moves, did I forget to mention that Justin Timberlake is a spokesman for Bud Light Platinum?

 

bud light platinum

Aww you shouldn’t have Justin.
No really. You shouldn’t have done this. Distance yourself.

And with that kind of star-backing, Bud Light Platinum is trying to prove it has staying power, assuming its customers have already developed pet names for its product:

HFP for short

Or “HFP” for short

 

bud light platinum

Bartender: Those are green. And I’m calling you a taxi.

 

bud light platinum

It’s a mouthful but the bartender will know what you mean.

Actually scratch the last one. Nothing will ever be as bad as that perm.

#Nothing

#Nothing

 

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