As the summer wraps and the kiddies go back to school, the season of dorms, notebooks, and binge drinking seems to seep into everyone’s psyche. Below are tweets from LYGO DC’s finest from last week, with a loose affiliation to this theme… (and sometimes not at all):
I’m open-minded in that my mind is perpetually blown wide open.
Community college parking stickers are the opposite of the “my child is an honor student” stickers.
-Everyone Associates’ with this to maybe a degree.
Sucks that no matter how much I whine, I can’t actually convince someone to shower FOR me.
– I have the same problem, but that’s WITH me.
Communism is bad because you need to wait in line for bread, but seriously have you been to a Whole Foods on a Sunday afternoon?
You’re so Bane, you probably think this song is about you taking over this city
-DON’T YOUUUU, DON’T YOUUUU?
Lemme ask you a question….do you not see that hair coming out your left nostril? You do look in a mirror at some point right?
-Ok, she’s still fixing my burrito, so we’re cool.
Enough of Miley Cyrus & Twerking, I need a bad bitch that can FoxTrot.
-It takes 2Chainz to tango, my friend.
I believe in heaven, Heath Ledger is starring in an off-Broadway play with Cory Monteith as his understudy.
-And now, you’ve started a teen girl suicide club.
I named my cat Precious because it is adorable and not because it is fat, black and I abuse it emotionally. Just clearing that up.
-Sarah McLachlan and the ASPCA would like to have a word with you, Mr. Paulsen.
And for me:
A squeezable ketchup bottle that only makes the fart noise.
-Somehow, I’m single.
See y’all next week,