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Facebuzzed Vol. 29 – Ursus Vodka

Facebuzzed Vol. 29 – Ursus Vodka

This week on Facebuzzed we visit Ursus Vodka, whose mascot, Ursus, is the frat-tastic, alcoholic version of the Coca Cola polar bear. The polar bear is the voice of the Ursus Vodka Facebook page. If we’re going to pretend a polar bear can talk then I think we can make him speak in complete sentences, instead of grammatical atrocities like this:

ursus - first post

 

I didn’t believe it was possible but…I think they created a Russian wigger bear.

This is about as close as I could get to an image of a wigger polar bear. I'm kind of impressed with myself, actually.

This is about as close as I could get to an image of a wigger polar bear. I’m kind of impressed with myself.

 

Ursus tried to build a sense of community on the thread. He asked everyone to tell him their favorite mixers, songs to pregame to, etc. However, the following inquiry had me disappointed for a variety of reasons:

ursus - second post

 

I assume that everyone who replied to this thread was drunk off Ursus because not a single person pointed out that blue is not a number. I even looked for a special color-to-number key just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. Also the second part sounds like a threat, as if someone should be making him a drink before he tracks your IP address and mauls one of you to death.

The only thing that gave me some hope about the people who drink Ursus is that at least they have good taste in music:

Suck it, Pitbull

Suck it, Pitbull

 

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