As “Blurred Lines” resonated in everyone’s head, our LYGO Alum took to Twitter and offered these slow jams. You know you want it.
Here are the top ten tweets of the week, along with my (Jon Yeager- @toosoon_huh) best offering and commentary.
-We have Bill Murray to play your dad, and Owen Wilson to somehow be involved.
Who needs feelings? I have a whole Toblerone in my hand.
-Or are you just happy to see us? Candy Crush?
The unexplorable depths of the Atlantic Ocean. It is dark. It is miles from civilization. And yes, “Blurred Lines” is even playing there.
-You’re the hottest abyss in this place.
What’s the starting age for when I can tell everyone I have back problems so I don’t have to help anyone with anything ever?
-A: The age you are on any moving day.
Worse than the asthmatic sex noises from my housemate’s room are the star trek filled chit chats that follow.
-A “Big Bang” in theory. Hope they used ComicCondoms.
A wave of sadness for the person eagerly waiting for the Groupon for laser fungus removal.
You mean to tell me Zimmerman could get three people out of an overturned car, but couldn’t get a 160 pound child off of him???
-In his defense, he got pumped up as he followed them around.
My brother (Dave) told me he can’t wait for me to move to LA and die of a drug overdose. On the bright side, at least we’re talking again.
-Maybe he was inspired by Bush’s song Everything Zen: “Should I fly to Los Angeles / Find my asshole brother.” Either way, glad you two are doing better without lawyers involved.
I just invented the dewey decibel system. Where books are classified by volume… Folks!
-Amirite? That’s Classic Nunez for ya.
I am in yo city eating a sandwich with bacon on it and drinking a Bloody Mary with also bacon on it and you can’t stop me,
-Tell him you know Mayor McCheese and this is totally ok.
I often say “too soon” after I tell a joke, whereas my girlfriend says it every time after sex.
-Sike! I don’t have a girlfriend.
See y’all next week!