Dear Feminists: Stop Complaining About Women’s Objectification

Dear Feminists: Stop Complaining About Women’s Objectification

Many women love to be objectified (Hey Maxim, why aren’t you returning my phone calls?). Objectification works when women have a say in when it happens. Objectification can be appropriate. It’s just a matter of time and place. Good time to be objectified: out in the club or on a date. Bad time to be objectified: gynecologist’s office.

Women also objectify men. The movie Magic Mike didn’t make 160 million dollars for it’s original story and dialogue. When my fiancé told me that he lost 10 lbs, I said “Great! Now we can have sex again.”

man's objectification?

If women weren’t objectified how would gold diggers eat? They don’t have resumés. Think of all the Real Housewives! Have a heart. Someone needs to put a roof over their heads. America needs the Real Housewives. Without the distraction of reality TV stars, we would all be left with the crushing responsibility of actually having to think for ourselves and talk to the people in our lives. Cities would fall and civilization would crumble.

Many women profit from and build their careers on objectification. For example, think of all the participants in the eating disorder parade known as the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Victoria’s Secret is our country’s finishing school for women who will one day be leased by celebrity men. They are only $100k a month with no money down. What a steal!

VS fashion show is objectification lover's shopping spree

Where Leonardo DiCaprio and Adam Levine go Shopping for Women

Porn stars are the queens of raking in the dough from objectification. The porn industry has an estimated profit of $14 billion annually. Porn stars deserve the money because they can help keep relationships together by giving men the illusion of having multiple partners. They also have a really hard job. If I had to have sex with strangers on command while surrounded by a film crew, I would be crying in the corner, shaking, and urinating on myself asking for my mommy.

Nowadays, girls have the freedom to go to college in order to have the opportunity to sit in a cubicle for 8 hours pretending to be busy while contemplating suicide. Then they can go home and stare at their diploma in order to be reminded of their insurmountable debt.

Sometimes I regret being a nerd all my life, and imagine what it would be like to profit from being objectified. When I was in college, I probably could have made more money as a Hooters girl than I did working in a genetics lab where the lab mice didn’t even have the decency to appreciate my push-up bras.

Feminists are coming from a good place in that they are trying to protect the integrity and intelligence of women. I know that my intellect is attractive to men. But never in my life has a man screamed to me in bed, “I’m so glad you went to MIT!”


  • Anonymous says:

    While I agree that objectification of women is not always a bad thing (and that men are not immune to objectification), I think that those instances are greatly outnumbered by the really awful consequences (the psychological effects on women and the societal effects, such as sexual harassment and assault).

  • Yes, I concur entirely. It is a difficult balance to strike, and there could be many unfortunate consequences. Earlier in the piece, I stated that “Objectification works when women have a say in when it happens.” But thank you for your comment and thoughts on the matter. This piece is meant to be a tongue-in-check commentary.

  • Mary says:

    Good Piece Jess! I do thank pornstars for keeping my relationship monogamous, but there’s always a clean up job afterwards… ::rim shot:: “No that doesn’t go in here after it goes in there.” 😮

    People applaud when they see someone maximize their God given talents like intelligence, musical talent, etc. but what if their God given talent is big tits or sucking dick? Why do we hold that against them? 🙂

  • mm says:

    please send for me saxy video

  • Marie says:

    Tongue and cheek commentary it may be but I agree completely. I’ve read a few articles on the objectification of women especially concerning victorias secret and I have to say, I really value my intellect but when I’m in bed with my boyfriend why should I not use that sexy push up bra and thong from victorias secret? I certainly appreciate his muscles and how he looks in certain things. Human nature is such that we admire beauty and people need to accept it. Sure it’s not everything but there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be sexy in the right circumstances. Victorias secret is first and foremost a lingerie company and should be viewed as such. If women look to victorias secret as a representation of who they are as a human being then perhaps feminists need to focus on correcting that because victorias secret represents one aspect and that’s the bedroom. Marketing strategies have been throwing catchy phrases at us from the beginning of time. I bet that caveman really knew how to sell those berries… so let us not give victorias secret undue credit and just chill a little..