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T.W.I.T. – It’s Too Hot

T.W.I.T. – It’s Too Hot

Our LYGO alum tried to write tweets as hot as the brutal weather. Even though some of us are as broke as Detroit, we did our best.

Here are the top ten tweets, and my (Jon Yeager- @toosoon_huh) best offering and commentary.

 

Pete Bladel@PeteBladel

My apartment is now a fully functioning sweat lodge. Come hang out and achieve enlightenment by Sunday night.

 

I can’t tell if this is a pickup line that Yogis use or your AC is busted.

 

Jamel Johnson@NonProfitComic

Bars should have Gatorade on tap in the summertime.

 

One Citrus Cooler and vodka, please.

 

Katherine Timpf@kctimpf

“Oh, you’re not ugly? Well, you’re a slut.” -DC

 

Women here sure are sweet!

 

Michael J. Foody@MichaelJFoody

For all the progress we’ve made in gay rights we still live in a world where Richard Simmons has to pretend that maybe he loves the puss.

 

Not sure about this one here, Mr. Foody. Simmons is always surrounded by women….. hmmmm….

 

Natalie Patricia@nataliesurely

Don’t ask me what I did today like you have no clue how many photos of pugs wearing clothes there are on the internet

 

As a puggle owner, I fully concur, and, the answer is 1.8 million.

 

Ryan Schutt@ryschutt

Friends’ wedding photos on Facebook are great because they let you relive the childhood trauma of not getting invited to birthday parties.

 

Wait, you have friends on Facebook? Brag.

 

@Baker-Beezus@BakerBone

Note to self: if a bar has a “Big Buck Hunter Pro” arcade game in it, that means they won’t be serving any Hennessy!

 

Be careful, Gordon, we don’t want the hunter to become the hunted.

 

Heaton@MightyHeaton

As a people, we are really under utilizing the amount of potential Christopher Walken puns at our disposal.

 

I never want Christopher Walken to die, and see the Walken Dead.

 

Kara Klenk@karaklenk

#everyone#needs#tochill#theF#out#with#hashtag#sentences#theyrenotaccomplishingwhateveryouthinktheyare

 

#sotrue#welldone#iseewhatyoudidthere

 

MayorOfTheGreenLine@ComedianJoeJack

#GreenLineEveningForecast Heavy down pour of toasted hood rats, sweaty skinny jean thugs, bootleg designer wearers, and smell good salesmen.

 

Still  beats Walmart.

 

jon yeager@toosoon_huh

To pay the Lions, Detroit has to take out a Stafford Loan. #DetroitBankruptcy

See y’all next week!

Jon Yeager

 

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