T.W.I.T. No, Baby, YOU’RE a firework.

T.W.I.T. No, Baby, YOU’RE a firework.

LYGO’s alum celebrate the July 4th weekend by watching fireworks, imbibing too much, watching Wimbledon and twerking, just ‘cuz. Here’s a 12 pack of tweets for FREEDOM!


Michael J. Foody@MichaelJFoody

Having kids has really done a number on our marriage. Carla is still beautiful, but she says she is too tired to twerk these days.


Katherine Timpf@kctimpf

No I do not look before I cross the street because then I would have to stop texting.


Jesse Thomas@JTcomedy

If that was Ivan Lendl smiling, he may have missed his true calling as foil to James Bond. Back me up @PabloTorre


Rahmein Mostafavi@CoolCowComedy

We men apologize after an argument for the same reason that women fake orgasms…we just want it to be over with.


Stav @StavComedy 

Ah, South East Baltimore, so glad to be back from vacation. Austin was cool but there were literally zero murders


DAY-vid TWY-tee@killtveite

Do you think those jeans are “distressed” because they know they’re gonna be worn by a douchebag?


David Coulter@davidocoulter

July 4th: Where we simulate living in a war torn country for funzies.


Aparna Nancherla@aparnapkin

“N-S-A! N-S-A!” attempted a small voice on the party hotline.


Richard Game@blahmed

lol at that time Kurt Loder tried to look young


Sara Armour@SaraArmour 

On the dance floor I feel like Janet, but I think I’m Elaine



“When I was born I got more likes than you.”- Siblings of the future/present


Dana Bell@danacbell

only thing harder than stealing candy from a baby is trying to give the candy to a baby. Turns out parents are SUPER protective these days