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Facebuzzed Vol. 24 – Vladivar Vodka

Facebuzzed Vol. 24 – Vladivar Vodka

This week on Facebuzzed we visit Vladivar Vodka, a liquor brand I honestly had never heard of until they decided to start following me on Twitter this week. I don’t know what it is about my feed that has liquor companies wanting to befriend me. But I once I logged into their Facebook page the blog potential was obvious:

vladivar vodka facebook ad

It’s African American Russian, racist.

This looks dangerously too close to saying “Guess the COCK” which…I mean are we guessing how big his is? I guess that wouldn’t be the first time someone posed that question under the influence of vodka.

Then they made it an equation when they added “+ Russian.” SO…if we add a black man’s penis to a Russian man’s penis, what do you get?

 

You get a middle school teacher fired for making the world's -worst- best math word problems.

You get a middle school teacher fired for making the world’s wors–I mean BEST math word problems.

After his brief stint in jail, that teacher can count on Vladivar for a pick me up. The brand prides itself on its ability to re energize someone during an obviously rough week:

vladivar vodka facebook ad recharge yourself

I don’t know who this person is but the last thing he should be doing is consuming vodka from a hole in his skull. Also all the blood in his body has pooled to his feet. And we should probably do something about his obvious lack of genitals and a neck. I doubt Vladivar can help out with that.

Although maybe they’re onto something with the consumption via the skull. Maybe that will relieve some pressure from your head when you roid rage out over losing at intellectual board games:

They need to start teaching what Alt+F4 means in rehab.

They need to start teaching what Alt+F4 means in rehab.

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