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T.W.I.T. – Talking Shit, Sex and Spirits

T.W.I.T. – Talking Shit, Sex and Spirits

This week, LYGODC alumnae get sexual, shitty, and sauced. Sounds kinky enough! Oh, ghosts too. Rawr!

Extra bonus- this week you get a dirty dozen of the best tweets from the DMV’s funniest folks. Read ten, get two free!

DAY-vid TWY-tee ‏@killtveite 

I do pretty well with the ladies considering that my go-to pickup line contains the phrase “vaginal intercourse.”

 

Aaron_MrPerfect ‏@Aaron_MrPerfect 

I wonder if anyone has ever had sex with just a blue tooth on.

 

Dana Bell ‏@danacbell 

Hey girl I’m gonna do you like drugs tonight because I want to fit in and I don’t know how to stand up to peer pressure.

 

Brandon Fisher ‚Äè@BrandOnBrandOut

Ghosts were the original encore.

 

Mariya Alexander ‚Äè@MariyaAlexander

Talking shit about people for talking shit about people is my favorite hypocrisy.

 

Ayanna Dookie ‏@ADookie 

Having lost a shit load of weight, there are certain things I no longer do. One being buy my own drinks @ the club. #flatstomachbigtittycrew

 

Jheisson Nuñez ‏@Nunez_J 

Even though I peed on some guy’s leg, a girl saw my dick, and I got kicked out of a bar last night, at those drink prices, I’m the real victim.

 

Milner ‏@EnglishmanChris 

Mac Book Bros before Mac Book Hos.

 

Tom Gentlemen ‚Äè@NonProfitComic

I could do the electric slide to Yo-Yo Ma if I felt like it.

 

Dixon Sider ‏@willhessler 

Apparently paralegal isn’t slang for handicap lawyers. Live and learn.

 

Romane Lettuce ‏@Thatblack1 

I bet Wreck-it-Ralph started out as an Interracial porno.

 

M. K. Paulsen ‏@mkpaulsen 

I’m so gay that for vacation this year I want to go to Twerks and Caicos.

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