This week’s¬†LYGO DC¬†selection of musings, jokes, and, general hilarity from the Twitter accounts of its stage alum cover breakups, kids, iPhone love, and all manner of relationships… also, money:
Grieving over a breakup is a lot like grieving over a death, yet my ex is still alive – that’s pretty rude of him.
Sometimes I think I actually understand birds better than some humans’ tweets.
Gentrify my pockets.
Nothing more charming than hearing an error message ding on the DJ’s MacBook.
My phone autocorrects “asshole” to “asshooooooooole!” Oh iPhone. You know me better than anyone.
What if you’re a virgin thrown into a volcano and you get to heaven but you’re 1 of 42 waiting for an extremist to blow up?
Yes, but imagine how insufferable I would be if I had a six pack. Now, be thankful.
Ran for train not bc I’m late but to beat a youth group to the faregate. Didn’t wanna hear their inane chatter about “hopes” & “dreams.”
You haven’t seen cheap until you see someone use an envelope for a wallet.
I hate rich Englishmen because they have no trouble dropping pounds.