T.W.I.T. – Cash and Relationships Edition

T.W.I.T. – Cash and Relationships Edition

This week’s¬†LYGO DC¬†selection of musings, jokes, and, general hilarity from the Twitter accounts of its stage alum cover breakups, kids, iPhone love, and all manner of relationships… also, money:


Mariya Alexander ‏@MariyaAlexander 

Grieving over a breakup is a lot like grieving over a death, yet my ex is still alive – that’s pretty rude of him.


Milner ‏@EnglishmanChris 

Sometimes I think I actually understand birds better than some humans’ tweets.


Jamel Johnson ‏@NonProfitComic 

Gentrify my pockets.


Nate J ‏@NateGotBetter 

Nothing more charming than hearing an error message ding on the DJ’s MacBook.


David Tveite ‏@killtveite 

My phone autocorrects “asshole” to “asshooooooooole!” Oh iPhone. You know me better than anyone.


Richard Game ‏@blahmed 

What if you’re a virgin thrown into a volcano and you get to heaven but you’re 1 of 42 waiting for an extremist to blow up? #patriarchy


Chels Shorte ‏@ChikaChels 

Yes, but imagine how insufferable I would be if I had a six pack. Now, be thankful.


Natalie M. ‏@littlenightowl 

Ran for train not bc I’m late but to beat a youth group to the faregate. Didn’t wanna hear their inane chatter about “hopes” & “dreams.”


Brandon Fisher ‏@BrandOnBrandOut 

You haven’t seen cheap until you see someone use an envelope for a wallet.


jon yeager ‏@jon_yeager 

I hate rich Englishmen because they have no trouble dropping pounds.