T.W.I.T. – Tweeting Titillation

This week’s the titular TWIT titillates with tweeting from LYGO Alum, as twalways. Enjoy DC Comedy brilliance in 140 characters or less:

Ayanna Dookie ‏@ADookie 

In honor of Mother’s Day, I think the gov’t should provide a tax break for those who don’t have any kids & are not depleting the resources.

Sara Armour ‏@SaraArmour 

Just ate food off my plate on-line at a buffet, to make room to put more food on my plate #PMS

Russ Green ‏@russ_jokes 

Family Planning is just a PC term for Disaster Recovery.

Jamel Johnson ‏@NonProfitComic 

Tonight was major finesse. Disney Princess shit.

David Tveite ‏@killtveite 

They may be white people problems but that does nothing to cure my complete inability to deal with any of them.

Michael J. Foody ‏@MichaelJFoody 

The English teacher spins the chair around backwards and takes a seat. “Do you know who’s really fresh?” he asks, “My man Chuck Dickens”.

Ryan Schutt ‏@ryschutt 

Whenever I’m in a group photo and none of us are looking in the same direction, I think, “Well, might as well start a band.”

Natalie Patricia ‏@nataliesurely 

The people who resent political correctness the most are never the people it was designed to benefit.

Richard Game ‏@blahmed 

My mouth is hate fucking this burrito.

M. K. Paulsen ‏@mkpaulsen 

The highest point in South Carolina is Sassafras Mountain. The lowest point in South Carolina is today.