T.W.I.T. – Funny Funny Status

T.W.I.T. – Funny Funny Status

Natalie M. ‏@littlenightowl 

Know the joy of finding extra $$ in your jeans you didn’t know you had? That’s what finding out To Catch a Predator is on to me #ChrisHansen

Stavros Halkias ‏@StavComedy 

To celebrate Jesus’ triumph over the villainous jews that tried to do him in, I’m going to eat 6 lambs by myself today. Happy Greek Easter!

Mariya Alexander ‏@MariyaAlexander 

I make it a point to find some quiet time to be alone with my anxieties and paranoias every day.

Steven Chen ‏@steecho 

Is anyone wearing shorts to brunch or are we all pretending to be adults?

Marcus Brown ‏@MarcusBrownDC 

If you drive a pink Cadillac that means ur either doing well in Mary Kay, doing well in pimping or NOT doin well in choosing Cadillac colors

Ryan Schutt ‏@ryschutt 

As a teenager, the ceiling fan would lift weights and listen to “Flight of the Valkyries,” dreaming of one day becoming a helicopter.

Courtney ‚Äè@bigCcomedy

The drunker white people get, the closer they get when they talk to you. There’s a dude that’s had 4 shots – I think he wants to date me.

Natalie Patricia ‏@nataliesurely 

dating websites need a ‘curvy, but…um, not like THAT’ body type option.

David Coulter ‏@davidocoulter 

Wish I had a gruff, manly voice. Like Sam Elliott or Kathleen Turner.

David Tveite ‚Äè@killtveite

If you’re going to bring your kids to this bar, I am going to get real drunk in front of your kids. That way everyone learns something.