Time to go to bed when the television starts telling you to buy prostate supplements.
Microsoft word keeps autocorrecting ‘improv’ to ‘improve,’ and yeah, I really wish it would.
Book idea: the illiterate person’s guide to irony.
I am sick of these uptight divas who insist that I remove my Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses when we make love. I don’t apologize for my style.
Don’t worry if your child has an imaginary friend. Worry when they have imaginary enemies, b/c that’s how conspiracy theorists are born.
S/O to the guy on the train selling the movie “41” The Jackie Robinson Story Prequel.
All I ask is you wake me up before you go-go.
Why is there no “take a liberal arts major to work day”? It would be helpful.
Difference between rock & roll and sports: using drugs that enhance performance gets you into one hall of fame but rejected from the other.
I’m trying to get to Deep Creep levels on FB. I’ll like your friend’s friend’s friend’s status.