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A Few Rules to Online Dating!

A Few Rules to Online Dating!

Online Dating or Internet Dating was once taboo, now it’s mainstream. It has gone a little crazy. They have paid sites, free sites, and Facebook! Rules are now required! MMA required them since it’s early days, so why not Online Dating? Ladies, follow these rules and you’ll get your dream guy!

  1. No pictures in the bathroom!¬†Ladies this is not Facebook!! Stop that!¬†Is the bathroom the only place that has a mirror? Don’t answer that it’s rhetorical.¬†If it wasn’t my smartphone I would not have been able to spell rhetorical.¬†How are you going to get a man taking pictures in the bathroom in front of that dirty ass tub! Again, don’t answer that just clean that dirty ass tub!¬†Thank Jesus for this beautiful technology or should I just thank Steve Jobs for making the Koreans work harder. My Samsung GS3 is the shit! Thank you Mr Jobs!! R.I.P.
  2. Have a few pictures on your page taken of you by someone other than you! Please! You look really lonely when most of your pictures on your page are taken by you. We can’t be friendless together. Not a good look. First person shooter, just looks like the beginning of a bad porn movie. Wait for it‚Ķ. Say money shot!
  3. No pictures with your friends especially if they’re hotter than you! Have that hot friend take your picture in the club alone or even better, pal up with that drunk white girl that wants to hug all the black people. Her speech ¬†slurs and she talks your ear off. “I voted for Obama!” “He’s so cool!” “I have a black friend!” “Can I touch your hair?” (In my drunk white voice)
  4. If you are a big girl let it known.¬†Don’t hide your curves!¬†Cute in the face but a lil too thick in the waist, big girls are in style now! BBW all day! I don’t mind a little bit of a belly, because I have one. I enjoy mine and we could look like twins! But if you have a booty do, this is when your stomach sticks out farther than your booty do! This is a no go! We may not be able to do a business transaction. Can you dig it!!
  5. Do not under any circumstances have a picture of you and your kid(s), unless she’s your beautiful sexy-ass college age daughter. Now that is ok!!!

 

Elton E. Howard Jr and Crown Royal Black

Follow me on Twitter @MrBuckJones

And thanks for your help, @BlackLoveRules - online dating expert

Comments

  • James D says:

    #5 All day especially if the sexy ass college daughter participates! Oh yeah 18 and up to 21…ha!!! I love my GS3 as well…. I never could spell college…..