This week on¬†Facebuzzed¬†we visit Carlo Rossi whose main gig is selling plentiful cheap wine but whose ulterior motive is to get America‚Äôs frugal winos to start regional jug bands.
No you were right the first time, alchy.
(By the way there IS such a thing as pocket-sized alcohol. *cough* Sutter Home *cough*)
Whoever is giving you socks as a gift gave up on your friendship years ago. That or the gift-giver needs to get her or his ass kicked. Although‚Ä¶one could make the argument that you actually NEED socks, whereas you don‚Äôt need a jug of wine that can double as your office water cooler.
Carlo Rossi also knows that an apartment full of empty wine jugs looks super sad, so they gave you some suggestions for reuse. One was a¬†questionably stable chandelier. Others were more standard, such as guessing how much of something was in a jug.
Though they could have gone with a better choice for the contents:
Thanks a lot Carlo Rossi for picking what is hands down the nastiest candy. You could‚Äôve unwrapped hundreds of rolls of Smarties, Sweet Tarts…hell I would have even taken a jug of Runts before I ate a jar of candy corn. Do¬†you¬†know what Runts taste like? Of course you don‚Äôt.¬†No one does.¬†But I don‚Äôt have to know you personally to know you would pick them over candy corn.
I should try to give them credit. They did try to stuff something delicious in there before. But I question the practicality:
So I guess we‚Äôre just throwing the jug away now?
or…BREAKING OPEN THE UNSAFEST PINATA KNOWN TO MAN? You make the call.