Living (anti-) Social

Living (anti-) Social

I’ve recently realized that I need to unsubscribe from Living Social. I originally signed up so that I could, ya know, live more socially. However, it’s become clear to me that many of their deals are not social at all; i.e., they do not encourage healthy  interaction with other humans.

NOTE: An IMPORTANT exception to this is their AMAZING and SUPER SOCIAL deal for 2-for-1 tickets to a LYGO show at Codmother! That deal is the best deal in the world and you will make a billion new friends AND solidify your current friendships/relationships if you buy it!

But yeah. Besides that.

For instance, they sell a lot of fancy furniture for cats.

They also have several deals for people obsessed with their dogs, including a magazine for Dog Whisperer enthusiasts.

(In other news, “Fresh Dog” is a creepy thing to sell on the internet)

Okay, so those aren’t the most social deals, necessarily, but you probably wouldn’t lose friends for owning these items. Well, as long as you kept it a secret that you paid $70 for a scratching post and stashed your Bark Magazine in a drawer before your friends came over.

Unfortunately, Living Social also has some deals that I am confident will make your friends leave you. These deals are actively anti-social.

Okay, wow. For those of you who are not familiar, kombucha is a nasty bacteria tea that smells horrible, and only mean hipsters like it. You brew it by growing nasty smelling bacteria in a jar. Basically, for the low price of $52, you can be both pretentious AND unsanitary at the same time! I’m pretty sure Living Social is assuming you’re living alone if you get this one, or soon will be because whoever you live with will leave you.

They also have an option for food delivery…from IHOP. Can you imagine a social situation that resulted in ordering take-out from IHOP? No? Me neither. Friends would never make a group decision for IHOP take-out unless they hated themselves and hated you. The only scenario in which I could imagine this deal being used is by a very sad, very alone person between the hours of 1 and 5am.

This brings me to the least social item I can even imagine:

Yes. Okay. So these are earbuds. You know…headphones, which are designed to tune people out for an individual and inherently isolating music-listening experience. The proud wearer of this item sends the message that it’s cool to have diamonds in your earphones, thus clearly visually demonstrating that they are an asshole who should not be approached, even when said product is removed.

Living Social also offers some classes and events, many of which do sound fun, but also several of which sound questionable. For instance, I would be confused if a friend earnestly suggested that we check out the “Hands-On Pickling Class,” and concerned if my boyfriend thought a Florham, Park, NJ vacation sounded good (only 20 minutes from Newark! Wee!).

I feel that Living Social may want to rethink its name and change it to something more reflective of what would happen if you purchased a lot of their deals. Something more like…Dying Alone.

Also, they sell this item:

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