hey adults, when you tell kids to use their inside voice, it should be because you want to hear their thoughts
Pope: ‚ÄúDiversity always works toward a higher & harmonious agreement.‚Äù ‚ÄúAnd diversity works best when there are no women or gays involved.‚Äù
why buy the cow when you already get to tie up the milk and call it a whore?
My favorite flavor of Haterade is sour grapes.
@McDonalds, please bring back Mighty Wings. Then your commercials with happy, dancing black people would make sense.
The evolutionary conundrum of eggs is only perplexed further by the fact they sponsor Creationism during Easter.
Sequestration is the federal government’s effort to get all the horse meat out of Ikea meatballs, right?!
I’m not gay but when see a girl with cat hair on her coat I wanna ask her if we can hold each other and meow
Life of pie: you’re baked and then eaten.
Dream job description: “Make a face like you’re concentrating while you read about sharks on Wikipedia.”