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T.W.I.T. (This Week In Tweets)

T.W.I.T. (This Week In Tweets)

LYGO DC’s weekly twitter best-of — gets sexual and dirty this week:

 

“( : ) ( : ) save time by using this emotion instead of typing out ‘double-nippled boobs’ every damn time”

“sometimes you feel smart, and sometimes you fall flat on your chin because you needed every limb to put a fitted sheet onto your bed.”

“I would never end a sentence with a preposition, but I would end one with a proposition. Example: “I’ll have a small coffee LET’S BANG””

 @natalieshure

 

“People often ask, “Why three kids in this day and age?” It’s simple really. I believe in family and I don’t believe in pulling out.”

@russ_jokes

 

¬†“Just saw a chihuahua and a pug fighting in the street and no one even cared. We must put an end to this adorable violence.”

@MariyaAlexander

 

“as mayor of philadelphia, my first law: anytime a guy runs up the steps and sings the Rocky theme song, any witness can try to knock him out”

@abe_barth

 

¬†“… But can I use my vibrator as a back massager?”

@SaraArmour

 

“Sadomy, when a straight man has gay sex for gifts.”

 @Ty1erRichardson

 

“How is there not an app to help me find a clean public bathroom? Like Yelp, except it is for my butt.”

@willhessler

 

“It’s fucked up when you’re sad in the back of a suburban. #YouGotItBadEraUsher”

@NonProfitComic

 

¬†“U said ‘time 4 breakfest’, I said ‘I need time 2 ‘bake first!?’; either way its all a good morning. #Halcyon”

@woodyseed

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