Facebuzzed Vol. 1 – Intro and Crown Royal Maple Whisky

Facebuzzed Vol. 1 – Intro and Crown Royal Maple Whisky

Welcome to Facebuzzed. This is a weekly feature about the ridiculousness that is social media marketing for alcohol brands.

This week I’m going with Crown Royal Maple Finished Whisky. Crown Royal rolled out this brand in late 2012, just in time for the winter months. User criticisms of the new flavor ranged from “Sorry, I’m sticking to the original” to “HOLY SHIT I PUT THIS ON MY PANCAKES,” but the company’s decision to generate interest using excessive polling filled with unrealistic choices didn’t help:


Here were my top three concerns with this one:

(1) That “Peace on Earth” barely edged out “A brand new car.”

(2) That the site moderator knew the character key stroke for “Registered Trademark” but couldn’t capitalize the word “Earth.”

(3) That more people would rather own a small horse than buy a bottle of liquor. Horses are a lot of work, y’all (I don’t know from experience, I’m just assuming…)


Then there were the polls that kind of spoke for themselves:


So after seeing a lot more of the same I decided to make these a tad more realistic. Starting with the one below:


They need to tone down the dignity a bit:

Prior to this they asked how you rang in the start of 2013. This time the choices seemed kind of reasonable:

But considering D.C. ranks ninth out of 25 U.S. cities in drunkenness a couple of these could be more specific: