Accidental New Years Clubbin’

Accidental New Years Clubbin’

For News Years Eve this year, my boyfriend and I accidentally went clubbing.

Womp womp.

He’s an engineer at NASA who’s spirit animal is a turtle, and I’m a social justice inspired cat lady who’s spirit animal is Leslie Knope. Our date activities are typically snuggling and eating.

Our true selves revealed.


We wanted to do something fun for NYE and I saw this event at the Howard Theater, the awesome and historic refurbished theater on 9th and U that reopened this year. I’d been wanting to check it out. We both like steampunk, burlesque, and weirdness, and the event was described (and I quote) as  a “theatrical, burlesque-themed soiree” that would, “feature dangling aerialists, pop violinists and fire breathers.”

The event also said there’d be DJs spinning top 40s, which sounded sort of newfangled and wild for us old souls; but we figured the youngins and their loud music would probably be between acts, or after midnight when we’d obviously be too tuckered out to stay.

Vibe we were looking for:

Vibe we received:

Alas. ‘Twas no burlesque to be seen, only top 40s. Actually, the only promised act we saw in our three hours there was one aerialist for about 5 minutes. We were lied to!

We were not alone in our expectations. Luckily, we dressed in a way where we looked fine with those wild clubbin’ kidz, but not all of our fellow misled white people were so lucky. I will never forget the sadness in that steampunk pirate’s eyes, nor the confusion of the girl in full Victorian period dress in the back of the room.

(One of these things is not like the other.)

We had a good time dancing in a mediocre manner and not taking ourselves seriously. However, my night was seriously compromised by horrifying product placement. There were several girls with body paint on advertising Fuze. Not only was it uncomfortable for me to see women literally objectified with their bodies painted as products for sale, ¬†but WORSE — ¬†I was really worried they‚Äôd bump into me and smear me with their body paint. My dress was nice.

(Don’t smudge me, sis.)

Anyhoo, we had a grand time dancing it out and taking a brief departure from our normal comfort zone. Then, at midnight, we felt like we had permission to leave. The night ended happily with eating and snuggling. Comfort zone FTW!

Happy New Year, everyone!