T.W.I.T. (This Week In Tweets)

T.W.I.T. (This Week In Tweets)

LYGO’s weekly twitter best-of:


“”I’m going to read this teleprompter with some fava beans and a nice Chianti” – Hannibal Lectern”



“This year I told everybody that Santa wants a half slice of Sweet Potato pie, some left over greens, some turkey and gravy.#SantaDaddy”



“¬†The Leisure Suit was a poor bridge to Casual Fridays.”



“There’s a howling Gale outside my window. Go home, Gale! People are trying to sleep, you drunk whore!”



¬†“My Dutch housemate keeps clogging up the toilet. I’m like ‘Johan! Leave your shoes next to the door like a normal person!'”



“On my way to church….in DC. I ain’t been to church on Sunday morn since they moved the arc of the covenant”



“Most women have a maternal instinct, to nurture babies. I have an uncle instinct. I want to buy kids beer.”



“@WeWantMaxelRose Here’s a list of games we should’ve played (but weren’t) to justify “accidentally” grabbing my vagina to win a board game:¬†Guess Who?¬†Yahtzee!¬†Sorry!”