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Zombie Preparedness Gone Awry

Zombie Preparedness Gone Awry

Zomblog 4 of …

Walter Samaszko Jr. covered his windows and wouldn’t let the postman approach his front door. ¬†Hidden in the crawl space beneath the house, in an old washing machine, and plastic cases strewn about his house like Easter eggs were British sovereigns dating back to the 1840s (gold coins, not members of the Royal Class), Austrian ducats, South African Kruggerands, and roll after roll of $20 American gold pieces. ¬†He kept $12,000 in¬†back-up cash handy.

Mr. Samaszko wasn’t currency-only. He owned guns, gas masks, survivalist manuals, and kept cupboards full of canned tuna fish. He had over 3 dumpsters worth of supplies and munitions.

Walter was ready for the zombie apocalypse and more. He wasn’t ready for heart failure. His house was so well-guarded, when they finally found him he was rotted to the floor.

69 years he lived, many of them as a recluse accumulating $7 million in gold and an uncounted value of weapons and survival gear.

Friends, this is the kind of person you want to know and befriend for the oncoming zombie-apocalypse, because you never know when it’s going to happen.

It’s also important to note that you never know when it’s going to happen,¬†so, you know, it might happen after you’ve died anyhow. ¬†Tonight, we toast to Walter but we do not toast alone, for a world without neighbors is a world not worth living for.

Happy holidays!

 

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